Dracula

Book Review: Dracula by Bram Stoker

I wanted to read this classic for Halloween but I can’t go on. Pardon the pun but Dracula is boring as bats**t.

It’s far too long. So many passages and scenes are basically repeated which contibuted towards the insane wordcount. I’ve been slogging through this for what feels like forever (when I checked it’s been about 10 days) and I’m still not even halfway through.

I hate all the characters. The only one I do find at least amusing is Renfield and his ‘I know an old lady who swallowed a fly’ bats**t craziness.

I do not want to even think about whatever weirdo subliminal messages Stoker was trying to convey with this book. Probably that we’re all supposed to embrace religion and avoid sex or something or other. Ugh.

Dracula is actually an epistolary novel and, most likely due to the multiple narrators and point of views, some of the reasons the characters have written down their accounts of the evil goings-on are really contrived. After all, we all stop to write a letter or a diary entry when we’re being stalked by a vampire, don’t we?

After throwing the book onto the DNF pile, I flicked through my streaming services and found the Gary Oldman movie and rewatched it. I don’t think I’d seen it since it was originally released. It was also horrid with dated special effects, ridiculous direction and terrible overacting by some of its stars (Anthony Hopkins surely thought he was making a comedy).

1 out of 5, DNF

Social Queue

Book Review: Social Queue by Kay Kerr

Zoe has a traineeship with an online media service where she writes an article noting that, due to her autism, not only has she never had a boyfriend, she believes no one has ever even had a crush on her. When five readers dispute this fact, her editor asks her to go on a date with each of her five admirers, writing a column about the experience later.

Even though the idea/trope of going on several dates has been done a fair few times in books, I did find the ones Zoe went on in Social Queue quite unique and some outcomes were a little surprising and unexpected. I also thought the romantic pairing at the end was nicely done.

I enjoyed the setting – one of my old stomping grounds, Brisbane. I now have the urge to jump on a City Cat and head for New Farm for icecream.

However, Zoe’s age didn’t really work for me. There were several references to her high school days where she was bullied, had her own crush, and excelled academically despite her miserable social life. Many times Zoe thought about how those years were long gone and way behind her and a distant memory etc etc etc. But Zoe was 18. So… As my daughter is 18 and still in school (albeit year 12), at the most Zoe would have been out of school for six months. I think Kerr should have changed Zoe’s age to her 20s at least.

Social Queue is a very worthy read when it comes to learning how to treat autistic people. Zoe’s traineeship allows her to interact with other (older) journalists whom she schools on the correct and most inoffensive language to use when writing about (or addressing) people with disabilities. My dilemma here was I felt I was sometimes constantly reading a very worthy read and I was never allowed to relax and just enjoy it as a cute romcom.

The book is definitely aimed at readers younger than myself, so it might work a little more if you are in that new/young adult target audience.

3 ½ stars

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

Book Review: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Wasington Irving

This was a free listen on Audible. To be honest, if I’d had to pay for it, I would have been pretty annoyed.

It’s only really a short story/novella, so it was only about an hour of listening. However, I will now admit to falling asleep during it and having to listen again the next day! Was it that boring? Well, yeah, it was. The story is told as an epistle, meaning there is no present tense action or dialogue to break up the long descriptive passages. It also felt very American and I assume, as it was written in 1819 but set in 1790, the whole thing was some sort of metaphor for the US ousting the English from the country (I think that’s what it was meant to be anyway!).

If you’re a fan of the various filmed adaptations, I don’t think you would be very impressed. Ichabod is far from a hero and is instead a tight fisted opportunist fool.

Although I chose this as another book for the Spooky Season there is nothing whatsoever scary about The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. I wouldn’t really recommend. 2 out of 5

The Ghost and Mrs Muir

Book Review: The Ghost and Mrs Muir by RA Dick

Does this count as a Halloween read? Well, it’s not very scary, I admit, but it does still feature a ghost as the male lead, so I’m saying it qualifies.

I think most people would know the general premise of the book — Mrs Muir, a widow, goes to live in Gull Cottage which is haunted by its previous owner, Daniel Gregg. Instead of being frightened, Mrs Muir and Captain Gregg strike up an unlikely friendship and impossible romance.

The book was written in 1945 so obviously some parts are dated. However, on the whole, I would say the book’s held up, all things considered. There’s quite a strong feminist message throughout, usually shown by Mrs Muir locking horns with her overbearing family.

The movie based on the book was released in 1947 but, although I’ve seen it, I have a clearer memory of the tv series from the 60s. It was definitely far more family friendly than the book. (I can’t, for example, imagine the tv series Mrs Muir being tempted to abandon her children for her lover!) There were a couple of parts which were quite sexy even — in a subtle, less obvious, way.

The book was also very sad. Apart from the fact Gregg is dead, there’s quite a few poignant moments in the book, especially towards the end.

At only 174 pages, the book is a quick read, so it’s perfect for anyone wanting to dip their toes into a classic romance with a Spooky Season twist.

4 stars and I’m now in the mood to re-watch the Rex Harrison movie version.

The Plus One

Book Review: The Plus One by Sophia Money-Coutts

I feel a little undecided about this book. On one hand, I enjoyed it at times and laughed now and then. On the other hand, it had a lot of faults which I’m sure will put many readers off.

One huge fault is that its plot is not very original. Helen Fielding could almost sue for plagiarism if she had not plagiarised from Jane Austen in the first place. There’s also shades of Four Weddings and a Funeral and maybe a few other Richard Curtis favs.

One thing I did like is that it’s all very English with very English humour (which, maybe, US readers won’t appreciate at all, if their popular comedy shows etc are anything to go by). However, not everything was funny and occasionally Money-Coutts might have crossed the line.

Usually the line crossing involved sex. Sorry, an Eyes Wide Shut type party with married people wearing masks (and basically nothing else) and having sex with randoms whilst others watch on is not really that funny (or something I’d want to read about in a magazine, tbh). Leaving your best friend’s engagement party after five minutes to have sex with your boyfriend of five minutes is not funny (or okay, especially when you are Maid of Honour!). And said boyfriend wanting to experiment with certain sexual positions without your consent is not funny (or okay when the message conveyed was everything was all good as things ended with an orgasm after all – wtf).

Whoa, I’m making this sound so bad but it’s not all bad. Polly, our leading lady, was likeable enough although I will say she lacked chemistry with all her potential suitors but especially one which makes the ending quite odd.

Overall, I think it would depend on the reader’s personality with this book. There’s quite a lot that is not particularly politically correct but if you don’t look too much into it, take it as a bit of escapist fun, and you enjoyed Bridget Jones’s Diary, I think you’d enjoy it. 2 1/2 out of 5

Plum

Book Review: Plum by Brendan Cowell

As the NRL season wrapped up last night, I thought it was apt that I also finished reading Cowell’s Plum.

Peter ‘Plum’ Lum, a 49 year old ex NRL and NSW origin player, has an epileptic fit whilst working. The episode is obviously a direct result of the numerous hits to the head and concussions he suffered throughout his playing career which is not helped by his constant dalliances with booze and drugs. We then follow Plum’s journey of self discovery and poetry.

Yes, poetry. Peter, an elite player in undoubtedly the toughest high impact sport in the world, discovers a love for poetry in an attempt to understand his emotional probems and come through the other side to redemption. This odd choice of a hobby for Peter adds another layer of depth to Cowell’s novel, luckily without becoming in any way pretentious.

Actually, despite his fame due to his footy career, Peter is the epitome of a little Aussie battler. Cowell’s use of typical everyday Aussie language in his dialogue made me connect further with the characters even though, also in typical Aussie fashion, they all, at some point, stuff up monumentally.

Given the NRL’s stance on concussions this year and the number of players who have recently retired due to sustaining too many head knocks, Plum focuses on a very topical subject. I enjoyed the fact that Cowell never bagged the game though; in fact his love for the game shines through and he shows that there’s a lot of other sports where champions are facing health crises, not just footy.

As a diehard passionate fan, I understood all the rugby league references throughout the book but I’m not so sure readers from anywhere bar Queensland and New South Wales will pick up on everything. I don’t think this will stop you from enjoying the book though — Plum’s issues are relatable and representative of modern society in general.

Although the book is very funny, it’s also very sad and touching. There’s a plethora of themes including men’s health and suicide, ableism, sexism, parental neglect and abuse, date rape and addiction (alcohol, drugs and gambling).

Plum was a perfect way to finish the footy season – 5 out of 5

Zero Day Code

Book Review: Zero Day Code by John Birmingham (End of Days #1)

I gave Zero Day Code a go as I needed a book starting with Z for a challenge and, bonus, it’s free on Audible where it’s narrated by Rupert Degas who I’ve listened to before and thought was fabulous.

I quite liked Zero Day Code’s premise. A war is started but instead of guns or nukes, it’s started with a computer virus which causes havoc across the US and her allies. Apart from the obvious internet and banking issues, a lot of the plot focuses on the mayhem created from the virus taking out the main food distribution centres. It’s assume the cities’ inhabitants, without the basics of food, water and electricity will go ahead and kill each other, eliminating the need for the Chinese to have to lift their trigger fingers.

For the most, this was believable. I would have said a few years back that no one would carry on like they did in this book but that was before Covid made these types of storylines much easier to imagine. (This was obviously written prior to the Covid outbreak as there wasn’t one mention of people shooting each other over toilet paper or rice…)

I did like many of Birmingham’s humorous metaphors and his frantic writing style at times, but at others I found it a little over the top. Sometimes it also got a bit repetitive (I got to hear once or twice or ten times that the positioning of a man’s testicles is the direct result of just how scared he is).

Birmingham is Australian and a lot of times I wondered how US readers would think of the many Australian references and slang used throughout. I’m not sure why he didn’t just set the book in Australia and be done with it. (The only reason I could think of was that we don’t have such easy access to guns in Australia.)

The lead characters were okay but none stood out. They’re the usual mixture from this type of book – ex special ops and army veterans, nerdy computer analysts, doctors.

I was disappointed by the ending also. I know it’s a trilogy but this part did stop rather abruptly and didn’t really have any definitive ending.

Will I be reading the next two books in the series? Actually, yes, I think I will. I wouldn’t say I’m dying to learn what happens but I am mildly curious about some plot points. It’s not the best book I’ve ever listened to but it’s certainly not the worst and I will say it’s a handy choice if you’re searching for a Z book. 3 out of 5