Book Review: Red Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson
I only managed to read a third of this book before adding the dreaded DNF hashtag. As such, I shouldn’t bother with a review but, when I look at the plethora of 5 star ratings my blood boils and I need to help out my fellow readers by issuing a ‘read at your own peril’ warning. (Yes, I am feeling dramatic this morning, thanks very much.)
First things first, I listened to an audio version and, if you are willing to dare read this book even after I recommend the opposite, I really really implore you to read it the old fashioned way. It goes without saying that I hated the narrator. His way of reading killed any hint of pleasure I might have garnered from this novel. His attempts at Russian accents and feminine lilts were laughable. A bit of googling shows me he also narrates the other two books in the trilogy. Kill me now.
As for the plot? Well… A hundred people travel to Mars where they will colonise the planet for future settlers. As one would imagine, we get chapters devoted to the hundred’s individual specialities and the reasons for their selection; the colonists’ solutions to the planet’s difficult atmosphere, weather and geography; and the political and emotional turmoil the hundred face after deciding to live in such an isolated and insular community.
Sounds good when I write it like that. It isn’t.
The techno babble that Robinson spews out takes away any interest I had in the planet, the ways the colonists were building on the planet, or the spaceship that took them to the planet. It was all written so tediously that I switched off completely.
And as for the political and emotional turmoil… Robinson should have thought about finding a writing partner who can write sympathetic interesting characters. All the characters, in fact, are cardboard cutout figures. The Russians are abrupt, cynical and politically motivated. The Americans are emotional, two-faced and arrogant.
The three main characters are the least likeable characters I’ve encountered in a long time. We get the brilliant and ambitious but emotionally detached female in charge who becomes romantically involved with two men (yeah, a love triangle *yawn*). The men are both equally ambitious, both psychopathic, and both as dull as dishwater. The most interesting thing about them was their slight homosexual attraction to each other.
Actually, the hundred’s (and Robinson’s?) obsession with their sexual relationships is uncomfortable (at best). The sex scenes are anything but sexy. In fact, they were so clunky and awkward that I felt the need to shut my eyes whilst reading them. (As this was an audio version and I usually listen when driving, this wasn’t the best feeling to elicit.)
There was one tiny moment of promise in the book (where a character thinks they’ve seen a stowaway) but I never got to solve this mystery before I gave up. Oh well. Life will go on.
Audible has a beautiful thing called ‘exchange for free’. I took full advantage.
1 out of 5
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